the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
