i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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