yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
