I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Of course I have a pirate flag
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's shark week go big or go home
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
