your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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