How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
