I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
