Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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