so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
