My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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