i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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