I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
