YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
