Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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