you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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