this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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