The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
