I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
