I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
