I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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