People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I looked at my own cervix.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
