I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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