The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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