I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
