Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Randomize
