Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
