dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My cat gives me a boner
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
