She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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