Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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