i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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