maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
