We're facebook friends in real life
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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