She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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