i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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