i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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