Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
