Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
