Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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