Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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