i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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