That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
