elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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