We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's the barista slut.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
