is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
