Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
