Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
