Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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