I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
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