Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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