Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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