that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize