Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize