It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
