I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
