Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
