just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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