True but thats because hes a fetus.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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