what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
