we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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