He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
try to milk me bitch
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
