The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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