But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
